Monday, October 22, 2007

Love, Drunkenness, etcetera.........

Wow, it’s been a while since I blogged. Time goes so quickly and it’s so hard to believe that the last time I blogged was in July…….time really does go quickly when you’re getting old……and believe me, I am!
So I have this research thingy to write on an environmental issue, and I wish I could write about oyibo people and their drunkenness, but unfortunately it doesn’t fall under environmental topics.
Or rather, maybe I should say English people. It so annoying being on the tube on a Friday or Saturday evening and people are staggering everywhere. And it’s up to you if you want to dodge someone falling over on you.
God, it’s a turn off when I see drunk people on trains…..if only they could be fined…….!!
Not to say that it’s only oyibo people that do that though…….one of my best friends (no names mentioned) confessed to me that she met up with friends at one of the bars in canary wharf and for some reason, she chose to come home on the train even though she was drunk. I think it was one of those decisions you make when your senses have gone on holiday…….
Anyways, when she got to canning town station, she was walking down the stairs and she tripped over and fell down the rest of the way. …….lol
She had to be helped up by people including the ones that picked up her heels. How embarrazzzing……! Luckily, she was too drunk to be embarrassed……….

So much has happened in the last 3 months……I’ve been made redundant……then got another job, which is a lot better cos now I work from home…..which is cool, cos with this horrible winter coming up, Lord knows I really don’t want to leave my house, unless its necessary. And it’s just 2 or 3 hours a day…….just fabulous…….I think God is on my side ;-)

On another note, I'm sincerely heartbroken……as in literally…….some guy I’ve been in love with since I was a teen is getting married next year……I mean, not like he knows that I’ve been “in like/love” with him, but I must be, seeing as I’m quite upset at the moment….right? And anyways, he lives thousand of miles away, so it’s not like much could have happened…..right? hissess!


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Guest blog.....

TMM Syndrome

Too many rich people are focking up majorly lately, unless you live under a rock in the Gobi desert or something, I’m sure you’ve heard of Linday Lohan’s recent run in with the law. Yes, that dummy was arrested for alleged DUI (alleged ndi nmuo) after she decided to chase someone in a parking lot; and when they booked her, what did they find in her pockets but cocaine. Which kain anuofia be dis ehn? If her parent’s were decent people, I’m sure they would be asking God why they gave them ogbanje instead of human being for a child. Can you imagine the media is insinuating that her Dad’s incarceration for the same offense might be an advantage to her, that she’s genetically predisposed towards alcoholism. Ehn na so? The media apparently has nothing else to report on (hello!!! War in Iraq, genocide in Sudan) so we’ve been bombarded with this LiLo shiat. They want to list the numerous problems the girl has and excuse her for her irresponsible behavior and dangerous action. As far as I’m concerned, the girl has only one problem (aside from needing deliverance MFM style - by fire, by force) she simply has too much money. Yes she is suffering from TMM Syndrome, she has too much money she doesn’t know what to do with it or herself. She simply doesn’t suffer enough, that’s why she’s bringing suffering upon herself in this manner.

She’s not the only one suffering from TMM, I think we all remember Paris Hilton’s recent stint in tushed up Kirikiri. Let’s not forget her now pregnant sidekick, Nicole Richie being arrested for the same DUI thing. This DUI thing na spirit? I mean this chicks know they ate like one celery stick 4 days ago and can’t hold their liquor, why not just hop in a cab, or get a driver? Na by force to drive?

Let it not seem like I’m saying only white (and light skinned enough and believes she’s white) girls in the Hollywood circuit are the only ones suffering from TMM; because they’re not o. TMM Syndrome only doesn’t see race, gender, creed or religion, all it sees is money. Because they’re black men like Michael Vick of Atlanta Falcons who are exhibiting symptoms of the same disease. I mean Mike Vick is arguably the best NFL player in a long time, one of the few black quarterbacks currently in the league (or ever for that matter) and the dude gets caught up in a dog fighting mess. What in the demonic possessed shit is that? Electrocuting animals, starving them, beating them to make them fight each other? I feel sorry for the women that have to screw him sha, because if he gets some sort of entertainment from doing that to animals, I can only imagine the sadistic shit that gets him off. But that’s by the way, because the root of his problem is TMM syndrome. The bobo get too much money, he no dey hustle for garri anymore that’s why he’s focking up like this. R. Kelly is a classic example of TMM, that’s why he pisses on little girls. Tufiakwa! Even in Nigeria, we clearly have people suffering from TMM that’s why you hear all this roundabout gist from time to time. Instead of these people to share, ha ne zuzuali. Hissssssssssssssssssss!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Every answer asks a more beautiful question...

So I’m aware that I have started this blog, and I was also aware that the time would come when I would’nt be arsed to update it and I think that time has come…..but I didn’t think it would come this quick.
But damn there are times when I have no desire to place any new content here. It’s not like there is a lack of information. Far from it!! I totally respect committed bloggers. But I’m not a blogger. I am an occasional blog exhibitionist clearly. Lawl.

So nothing fascinating seems to have happened to me recently…. I have’nt fallen in love yet, I have’nt started job hunting and I have’nt been on holiday. Summer is quickly passing by, and if I don’t check myself, I’ll probably end up doing nothing by the time summer is over.
The weather in London hasn’t been great either….in fact its been horrible. I can swear that we’ve only had two days of sunshine in the last two weeks…..scoffs….

And with bad weather comes depression… if life doesn’t throw enough depressing things at you…….

Well good news from naija……the so called kidnappers have released the 3yr old girl…Thank goodness for that……we can only imagine the fiasco it would have created if something had happened to her…… or if she had died……like naijas image is not bad enough.

Other news is that I went with a couple of friends to the blogger Olawunmis birthday party on saturday….the yellow and red party they called it…….i actually didn’t know till yesterday that he was the blogger…..i just thought it was someones party we gate-crashed. I heard a couple of bloggers were there, but I didn’t meet any of them apart from TaureanMinx. Also Naijafine boy was there as well…..

Thanx to everyone who emailed me while I’ve been missing in action……its really appreciated.

Anyways, so pls understand why I’ve had no motivation to blog…its that damn simple….nothing to blog about.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Go shawty, its your birthday.............

Soooooooo, its finally B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y!!!!!!!!

Thanx for all the birthday wishes I have received......its really sweet......
Its 1pm and I'm going shopping to lift up my mood.....after all as I said earlier, 30 is coming.........very very soon.....and God knows that time in London flies by quickly.....I might go to bed and when I wake up I'll be 30....

But I should be careful what I wish for.......

Anyways, once again, thank you very much......


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

My Birthday......

So June 1st is my buffday and though the big 30 is still a bit far's in the nearest future. It's amazing how time goes by quickly when you're loving life...........cos I'm living my life like it's golden......
Even though I'm not dreading it......I'm not exactly looking forward to it. But I'm glad to be alive.
I'm in the middle of exams and I'm going to need a major distraction when I'm done. Cos an idol mind is the Devils they say.

June Baby...........


Thinks far with vision.
Easily influenced by kindness.
Polite and soft-spoken.
Having lots of ideas.
Active mind.
Hesitating, tends to delay.
Choosy and always wants the best.
Funny and humorous.
Loves to joke.
Good debating skills.
Knows how to make friends.
Able to show character.
Easily hurt.
Prone to getting colds.
Loves to dress up.
Easily bored.
Seldom shows emotions.
Takes time to recover when hurt.
Brand conscious.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Freak show................

So yesterday after my exams, I was on my way to work on the tube when I saw this bald guy that had like a million and one piercings all over his face.

There were so many that all I saw was so so metal everywhere. He also had those black, red and green tattoos on his arms… was just a grotesque sight. Unfortunately for me, he caught me staring and snarled at me.

I hate it myself when I see people staring, but I couldn’t help myself. And it got me wondering why he was vexing cos I was staring at him. If you look like that, then I’m going to stare.
I mean, you can’t roll out of your house looking like that and expect everything to be honky dory and not get stares from people. If you decide to look like that, then I’m sorry but you’re looking for trouble.

Well I mean, I guess it’s a matter of free choice, and it’s a free world (so they say) but nevertheless, if you want to look like that, then you have to know that you don’t exist on this planet alone. I mean, these people have families, friends…..and you can’t tell me that their families all feel that it is ok to look like that.

If you are concerned about these people in your lives, then you have to be willing to be concerned about their feelings as well. Imagine in a country like naija, where most parents are very traditional. Imagine your son or daughter rocking up with piercings and tattoos all over their bodies……the first thing they’ll tell you is to stop embarrassing them and embarrassing yourself.

God knows my mother would brush me black and blue, till the devil was beaten out of me.
If you still insist on doing it in front of people you care about, then maybe you don’t really care about them.

So really, all I’m saying is that one should think before they go looking for trouble…….piercing their eyes, ears, noses, lips, eyebrows, cheekbones and shit……..leave it for the carnival or when there’s one of those festivals where you can express yourself.
If you still insist on being different…..then really, don’t vex when I stare at you.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Oyibo people too dey vex.......

So a couple of days ago, I was at work and my oyibo colleague emailed me a pic of him holding a baby….. I come dey wonder….…so I emailed him back and said “ paedophiles go to jail”......

Well obviously it was a joke, but the guy come dey vex……..he was vexing seriously ooo…..I apologised and told him I was joking jor……this was over a week ago........and he’s still ignoring me…….

Anyways, wetin come concein me.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Somebody Someday..............

Is it just me, or is the fear of failure some scary ass shit?
I know I’m going to be successful in this life for as long as God keeps me alive, but I still have that niggling doubt that I will fall flat on my face (God forbid sha)….so flat for people to see…..for people to laugh…….
It's not a good reflection and I should have more faith.....but I just can't help but fear.....

But notwithstanding, all I know is that I’m going to be somebody…….someday……….

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

A Girl, A Guy And A Lubricant!!!

So I heard this story over the weekend which got me cracking up. A friend of mine told me a story which her friend told her.
Anyways, her friend wanted to get adventurous with her man and bought some kind of lubricant from Tescos (WTF???? Of all places?) Anyways, on the pack it said that the lubricant should be rubbed on the guy and it stimulates the man more during sex……or something along those lines.
Anyways, so she shows the guy the lubricant and he asks her what it’s for. He not probably being very adventurous wasn’t too down for it but she persuaded him and told him to lie down while she rubbed it on him.
So she rubs it on him and sits beside him and waits for it to get into action. So they sit there for a while and the guy asks her what they were waiting for and when the thing was supposed to kick in. Well after a while, when nothing happened the guy told her to never bring the lubricant back.
She not being very experienced……or knowledgeable, didn’t know that the lubricant was supposed to be used during sex and she wasn’t supposed to wait there like a stop sign for things to happen.

I'm not sure what she was expecting......maybe for the guy to have a self-orgasm or something.....

Anyways, hope you had a great bank holiday weekend!!!


Live and Naked show......

Ok so I went for the live and naked show and it was awesome. The comedians were on point…. 2 face was cool…Paul play was cool…Basket mouth was crazy…Ali baba was a surprise guest and he was great as well…..
It was quite organised…..which was impressive…..I did miss Weird MC’s performance cos I was hungry and left the hall to go to a chicken and chips shop across the road. As I no be VIP, there was no free food for us.
I’ve decided that I need to start going to more Nigerian events and it helps that my flatmate Matilda is a Nigerian events junkie…….
The show did start 2 hours late, but it was well worth it me thinks. I didn’t manage to blag my way to VIP, which was unfortunate so I had to make-do with my slackers corner seat.
So for 20 quid, it was a good show. I’m sorry I can’t go into great detail about the show, it’s cos I’ve got exams starting next week and my head it hot and this blog is the last thing on my mind at the moment, but I finish exams on the 29th of May and I really can’t wait to get them over and done with……so wish me luck…….

On a lighter mood, I heard a story over the weekend, which got me cracking up. One of my friends told me a story about a girl, a guy and a lubricant.

I’ll post the story later today when I get a minute…..


Thursday, May 03, 2007

Burned once before.........

So I'm a sucker for punishment....I’ve decided to go for this show even though I was warned that last year the acts turned up 3am and the show ended at 4am. The main reason I’m going is to see basket mouth, 2-face and Paul Play… that order. So far so good, it’s looking good…..i just hope they show up…..!!!! I mean WTF is up with Nigerians and time keeping??? I mean, it’s ok to be fashionably late, but when you keep people waiting for 3 or 4 hours, that is downright piss taking!!!!!
Anyways, I’m hoping that this year will be different cos I’ve already been burned with that Top Model rubbish (see my blog for the details) and I don’t want to be let down again…….maybe this time there will be good news for you….....and for myself!!!

Monday, April 30, 2007

Nigeria’s Top Fiasco!

Ok, so I shelled out 30 quid to go see Nigeria’s top Model and all I can say is that I wished I had saved my money for something else, considering the cab cost 35 quid to get there….AND, I had to sneak out from work cos I didn’t want to get there late. Hisses!!!!
The oyibo men at the door kept us outside for like 15mins in the freezing cold cos he couldn’t find our names on the standard list…….eventually he found it and the reason why being that for some reason my name was on the VIP list and not the normal standard list.
People on the VIP paid like 55 quid for thier tickets, so I wasn’t complaining when the mistake was made……..all the better sef.
So me and my posse quietly and quickly crept away………..

So the show was supposed to start at 7pm… didn’t start till like 10.30. By 10pm they were still hooking up wires and doing mic tests and by that time my tummy was making noises cos I was soooo soooo hungry. My friend Maggie insisted on telling me how hungry she was but she didn’t know that telling me about her hunger wasn’t helping mine……….AT ALL. It just kept reminding my brain about mine.

Anyways, in the VIP section there were like 7 people on a table, and each table had a bottle of wine to share……and some measly snacks which did nothing to ease my hunger……but who was I to complain about the VIP treatment…..those in the normal section had to buy their drinks……….at least I got 2 glassess of wine and a glass of Moet from a nice guy on the table who probably bought it. Cos I didn’t see anywhere in the VIP section where champagne was being offered. ;-)
The first person on the stage was someone called Tavian (?????) I’m not sure if he’s Nigerian, but he sang the Nigerian Anthem and messed up the sixth line which is “to serve with heart and might”…….he sang “to serve with all our might”!!!!!! I mean WTF?? Mate, if you must do it then do it properly.

The there were some support acts that I won’t bother talking about……..all I remember about the performance were the girls shaking their assess on the stage…..which happened quite a lot……..
Finally the show started with the introduction of the girls and I was saying to my friends that I thought these girls were meant to be models?
Out of all of them, probably like 3 or 4 had model bodies…….one was even 5’5 and a bit overweight sef…….the slim ones had big tummies and again I was like WTF????? These are supposed to be models here………….!!!
Some more support acts…..some more dancing, then it was swimwear time……and booooooy, what a laugh……..
In true style, the hall scattered with people shouting……I mean these girls bums were bursting loose from their pants……..H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!!!
I think they were very much behind schedule, cos they didn’t have one-on-one interviews with the models….. I actually heard today that some of them are British-born; see me thinking they were straight off the boat.

Anyways, all the models came out for their final walk in their Adebayo Jones collection and Ifeoma Ilobi who represented Miss Anambra fell on her face flat…….and in true Nigerian style, the whole hall scattered a bit more….. I genuinely felt sorry for her. I felt even more sorry for Adebayo Jones (who was on the judges table by the way) who must have died a little inside when he saw his beloved dress was probably torn.

Oh, did I mention that there was some Calabar dancing troupe as well…..who insisted on their choreography not matching and some dancing off beat……
At one point I mentioned to my friend that the whole show felt like back in the day when we used to go to other schools for Senior Lit and Interact…..with the whole fash pa and miming……and with a large cloth covering the back stage and the contestants behind dressing up…… we were just praying that the cloth didn’t fall off……now that would have been embarrassing!
Anyways, we were just waiting for the show to be over so we could get the hell out of there……I was so hungry that I couldn’t wait to get home and eat indomie and egg…..
The organizer of the event came out and gave her speech and said her thank yous and all in that husky baritone voice of hers and insisted on calling out the poor Miss Anambra and giving her flowers……
She was like; “Did you see the way Ifeoma fell”? “And what did she do? She got up and continued walking”…….
And we were like, what else would she have done? Would she have just laid on the floor or something? Or crawled out on her legs and hands??
I just couldn’t understand why she insisted on embarrassing the girl further……..poor thing.
Anyways, the crown went to Miss Lagos State….who had her own supporters club making noise for her…… I do wonder though, if she will actually make it as a model….. I mean she isn’t really Nnenna sha…… but yeah, the show ended at 3 in the morning…..instead of 2…..and yes, I still wish I hadn’t wasted my money.

A Touching Elephant Story - Elephants don't forget!!

Breaks your heart..............................
This is an amazing and heart warming story.

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from North-western University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant
standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son were
The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.
The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.
Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure.
He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.


“If you want to earn your man, you got to learn your man.”

By Alexyss Tylor who hosts the show 'Vagina Power 'and 'Penis Power' with her mother.

I came across this video and I have been laughing at work for the last 10mins. Abeg don't watch without your headphones.... 'specially if you're in the office....

Things I am loving....

**So I heard that Wentworth Miller is supposedly dating Gabrielle Union.......and I'm loving those rumours. Don't know how old this rumour is.......but I'm loving it...........
If it’s true then I like the fact that he has decided to go for one of our sisters….but then again, he is half black……..

**I’m loving…… my God daughter as well…..when I see her, I try to get broody and motherly….but it’s not happening….. I’m unquestionably not ready to have children.

**Im loving………Half of a yellow sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie……I’ve only read a few pages, but I’m undeniably hooked. It’s amazing to see how much talent people have.

**I’m loving……..American Idol…..Saturday was my favourite……as Il Divo came on. Did I mention I’m going for their concert on the 16th of May?Sad……I know.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Half of A Yellow Sun

Ok, so I've finally decided to buy Half of A Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie cos everyone on blogville has been raving about it.

I really hope it's as good as people say. And for £6.13 on Amazon, it’s not a bad deal……….. AT ALL!

So I eagerly await the book to arrive………….

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Innocence Project.

I came across a piece on cnn about a man called Jerry Miller who spent 25 years in jail for rape. He was released cos DNA evidence showed that he couldn't have been the one that committed the offence.
It got me thinking about how many people have been imprisoned falsely or those on death row or those who have already been executed.
The life of one person is decided by a jury of about twelve people who have to vote and decide whether a man is guilty or not guilty.
I'm naturally a jaded person and I don't believe in there being "no smoke without fire".
I investigated more and I came across the Innocence Project, who are dedicated to exonerating wrongfully convicted people through DNA.
On their website, there is a list of people who have been exonerated and the list is endless. For me it's a very sad subject. Only God can imagine the rejection they receive when they are imprisoned, both from their families and their committees.
All I can say is, I bloody hope they receive good compensation.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Aimlessly Wilfing

On April 10th 2007, newspapers and other media reported on what was described as a "new Internet phenomenon" known as "Wilfing", or "What Was I Looking For" .……. a new term for aimlessly surfing the Internet. This is exactly what I have been doing today since I got to work.
Today is one of those days you wish you were still in bed, instead of being at work.
Anyways, while "wilfing", I discovered the following:

1) A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal – honest!!!! It’s on the BBC website.
2) That men actually do more work than women. Women do more at home, but men make up for it in the workplace. (woteva)
3) Sanjaya Malakar had FINALLY been voted off American Idol.
4) A donkey became a witness in Dallas dispute. Buddy the donkey walked to the bench and stared at the jury, the picture of a gentle, well-mannered creature and not the loud, aggressive animal he had been accused of being.
5) An Israeli woman accidentally bit off part of her boyfriend's tongue during a heated French kiss.

6) That "wilfing" - or surfing the web without any real purpose - has become a new national pastime, according to a survey out this week.

I have now added the above to my burgeoning knowledge of news and I feel at least the day hasn't been futile………either that or I should have just stayed in bed.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

My Love For Tennis

So I’m a self-confessed tennis freak.
I have no idea why I like it so much. I think I got into it when the Williams sisters’ joined the tour.
So the Monte Carlo tournament is on and unfortunately, I can only watch it when I’m at work as it's on during the day.
I’m used to friends asking me why I love tennis so much and it’s even ok for them to call me a freak…………….but then when work colleagues ask me why I watch it, I get a bit annoyed.
It’s like they find it strange to see me watch it…….and I can’t see why.
Then a friend of mine at work laid it to me straight……she said and I quote, “ Its cos you’re black and black people don’t like high brow sports such as tennis”

I’m wondering if she’s right..……maybe I'm just jaded.