Monday, April 30, 2007

Nigeria’s Top Fiasco!

Ok, so I shelled out 30 quid to go see Nigeria’s top Model and all I can say is that I wished I had saved my money for something else, considering the cab cost 35 quid to get there….AND, I had to sneak out from work cos I didn’t want to get there late. Hisses!!!!
The oyibo men at the door kept us outside for like 15mins in the freezing cold cos he couldn’t find our names on the standard list…….eventually he found it and the reason why being that for some reason my name was on the VIP list and not the normal standard list.
People on the VIP paid like 55 quid for thier tickets, so I wasn’t complaining when the mistake was made……..all the better sef.
So me and my posse quietly and quickly crept away………..

So the show was supposed to start at 7pm…..it didn’t start till like 10.30. By 10pm they were still hooking up wires and doing mic tests and by that time my tummy was making noises cos I was soooo soooo hungry. My friend Maggie insisted on telling me how hungry she was but she didn’t know that telling me about her hunger wasn’t helping mine……….AT ALL. It just kept reminding my brain about mine.

Anyways, in the VIP section there were like 7 people on a table, and each table had a bottle of wine to share……and some measly snacks which did nothing to ease my hunger……but who was I to complain about the VIP treatment…..those in the normal section had to buy their drinks……….at least I got 2 glassess of wine and a glass of Moet from a nice guy on the table who probably bought it. Cos I didn’t see anywhere in the VIP section where champagne was being offered. ;-)
The first person on the stage was someone called Tavian (?????) I’m not sure if he’s Nigerian, but he sang the Nigerian Anthem and messed up the sixth line which is “to serve with heart and might”…….he sang “to serve with all our might”!!!!!! I mean WTF?? Mate, if you must do it then do it properly.

The there were some support acts that I won’t bother talking about……..all I remember about the performance were the girls shaking their assess on the stage…..which happened quite a lot……..
Finally the show started with the introduction of the girls and I was saying to my friends that I thought these girls were meant to be models?
Out of all of them, probably like 3 or 4 had model bodies…….one was even 5’5 and a bit overweight sef…….the slim ones had big tummies and again I was like WTF????? These are supposed to be models here………….!!!
Some more support acts…..some more dancing, then it was swimwear time……and booooooy, what a laugh……..
In true style, the hall scattered with people shouting……I mean these girls bums were bursting loose from their pants……..H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!!!
I think they were very much behind schedule, cos they didn’t have one-on-one interviews with the models….. I actually heard today that some of them are British-born; see me thinking they were straight off the boat.

Anyways, all the models came out for their final walk in their Adebayo Jones collection and Ifeoma Ilobi who represented Miss Anambra fell on her face flat…….and in true Nigerian style, the whole hall scattered a bit more….. I genuinely felt sorry for her. I felt even more sorry for Adebayo Jones (who was on the judges table by the way) who must have died a little inside when he saw his beloved dress was probably torn.

Oh, did I mention that there was some Calabar dancing troupe as well…..who insisted on their choreography not matching and some dancing off beat……
At one point I mentioned to my friend that the whole show felt like back in the day when we used to go to other schools for Senior Lit and Interact…..with the whole fash pa and miming……and with a large cloth covering the back stage and the contestants behind dressing up…… we were just praying that the cloth didn’t fall off……now that would have been embarrassing!
Anyways, we were just waiting for the show to be over so we could get the hell out of there……I was so hungry that I couldn’t wait to get home and eat indomie and egg…..
The organizer of the event came out and gave her speech and said her thank yous and all in that husky baritone voice of hers and insisted on calling out the poor Miss Anambra and giving her flowers……
She was like; “Did you see the way Ifeoma fell”? “And what did she do? She got up and continued walking”…….
And we were like, what else would she have done? Would she have just laid on the floor or something? Or crawled out on her legs and hands??
I just couldn’t understand why she insisted on embarrassing the girl further……..poor thing.
Anyways, the crown went to Miss Lagos State….who had her own supporters club making noise for her…… I do wonder though, if she will actually make it as a model….. I mean she isn’t really Nnenna sha…… but yeah, the show ended at 3 in the morning…..instead of 2…..and yes, I still wish I hadn’t wasted my money.

24 comments:

Bella Naija said...

Well, what can I say?
I know how difficult it is to organize a show of this magnitude but when you make people pay for an event you have to deliver and from your account of events...they DIDNT
I think we Nigerians need to run away from such mediocrity such as starting the show several hours late...Anyways, thanks for your honest review of the event and sorry @ the poor girl who fell..I wont lie, I would have laughed my head off. I have heard many good things about Sandra though so hopefully her future endeavours will be better.

The Last King Of Scotland said...

pele dear. pity u couldnt get a refund but at least u enjoyed 'vip' privileges and a glass of good ol moet! and above all u got to laugh

NKEM said...

hahahaha..ihad a feeling this show was gonna be like that..MUHAHAHAHA..FOOD GOR YOU(GOOD FOR YOU)

Cheetarah said...

Lol!lol!lol!
Oh my, u must have been pissed, but it seems like you had a good time anyway,saw the pr piece in the metro and I was like hummmm! NTF definately,Pele jare

divali said...

hiya,
i was very ambivalent about this whole thingie cos i thot 'to what end,really?'
not sure y it wld have made a difference if 'you hrd the girls were british-born and not off the boat'...WTF?
r u saying chicks at home are big-bellied,not even model material sef?
not cool, i have a huge prob with ppl dissing naija chics in naija on top local or international flavor.a babe is a babe irrespective of if ur in naij or outside it puhleese-...u shld take that back -geez,,,guess it makes u feel better to say shit about girls who live in nigeria..
ur comment is irritating...other than that,very descriptive post and i feel ur pain at the orgernisers' ineptitude

Toni Payne said...

June, June. June, How many times did I call u? Im warning you o, take my husbands picture off your blog. Ill fly to london to give you a lashing, just watch!..ooops, Im late to a prison break cast dinner, gonna support my hussy..:))) When I get back, it better be gone

jadedjune said...

@ divali.....I thot they were from Naija cos it was NIGERIAS TOP MODEL...it would have made more sense if the competition was held in naija.....and if the girls were Nigerian born....but then everyone is entitled to their own opniions...!!!!That was my point!!! End of. But thanx for ur comment anyways..... 'ppreciated!

@ Toni P.....ma frend, stop claiming...cast dinner ko, cast dinner ni....foolishness!!

Life through rose-tinted glasses said...

lmao @ "She was like; “Did you see the way Ifeoma fell”? “And what did she do? She got up and continued walking”…….
And we were like, what else would she have done? Would she have just laid on the floor or something? Or crawled out on her legs and hands??"
and to think i told my friend i wanted to come with them thank God i didnt go at least i wouldnt have paid

jadedjune said...

@ Life through rose-tinted glassess....abi o.....good thing u saved ur money o jere....!
dont mind the sandra woman.... embarrassed the poor girl even further by calling her out and handing her flowers for "standing up when she fell"......hissess!

Anonymous said...

i thought i was the only one that wanted to go home and eat indomie...hahahaha.that show eh,na wa o! thats all i can say.ur so right,i and my sis were talking about how it looked so sec.school,especially those boys that came out to sing WIFEY,wat in the world was that about?

uknaija said...

LOL at Senior Lit...

Vanilla said...

LOL - I was fighting with myself about going to this do

Thank Goodness, I stayed in and finished a novel

Pink-satin said...

that is so funnny....why cant 9ja's get their act together

STREETBRAND said...

Very detailed review - I was thinking of going but now glad I didn't.

jadedjune said...

@ anonymous writer who insists on sending me comments and chatting rubbish. like u said everyone is entitled to their own opinion.....does not mean u be emailing me rubbish.
and no i did not overhype my opinion. go to other peoples comments on the model rubbish before u drink panadol for the models headaches. or rather, just say someone you know took part in the competition, so you dont like the criticism. hissess.

wetindey4us said...

@ JADED: HEY NAIJA FIASCO THINGY WAS A LAUGH FOR ONCE I THOT THIS ORGANISER WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE NOW WE KNOW SHE JUST WANTED TO EXPLOIT THE POOR GIRLS AND HER HELPERS....WE SAW ALL KINDS OF SHAPES AND SIZEZ EVEN THO A FEW HAD THE REAL MODELLING THING GOIN ON....IS IT ONLY ME OR DO YOU THING THE WINNER DESERVED HER TITLE?DO U THINK SHE WILL GET ANY OF HER PRIZEZ AS WELL? ,..THIS ONE THAT M HEARING PPLE COMPLAIN OF NOT BEING PAID

jadedjune said...

@ wetindeyfor us...i think lagos state was cool...one of the best...the other girl....i think her name is peace...she was cool too....im not sure how good miss lagos state can become...she still doesnt have the "X-factor".....but we'll see hoe it goes.....watch this space....

wetindey4us said...

@ JADED AND EVERYONE OO: i got a clearer picture of the NTM winner and runner up...i hope she makes it sha and i wish they deal with that sandra whatever os i heared she doesnt wat to give the prizez out for some reason even after evryone cricityin her (she needs to wise up)....she has a bit of the X factor i think and hope ..Ya'll feed ur eyes and enjoy tis on my blog.....

holla

dezhare said...

that sucks....but at least you were V.I.P...he he he

and as for Tavian singing the bootlegged version of the anthem?? now thats just crazy

Calabar Gal said...

Pele, JadedJune. You must have been starving by the time you finally got out of there.

Coming from a 'fat individual', I think the winner looks good. Lets hope she succeeds in the modelling world.

LOL at the guy not singing the naitional anthem properly. Until now, I'm sure I would have sang as I have always sung - To serve with all our might.... LOL!!! Is it really to serve with heart and might?!?!?!?! LOL!!

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lmao... I can only imagine how cheesed i'd be if i'd paid my money to witness that sha... but I guess... anything we can do to 'support the nigerian arts'(whateber that means).. pele my dear... lol

Bitchy said...

LMAO!! I too was thinking what kinda show is called Nigeria's Next Top Model, and isn't even being held in Nigeria!

D'you know this is the first negative review I've read about this thing, everyone else praised the socks off the organisers.

Have a good weekend JJ Xxx

Anonymous said...

@JaDEDJUNE the show pictures are now up at bella naijas blog...gooo check it ..you'll never know all the drama went behind stage

Anonymous said...

To the girl that wrote the detailed account of the event (it was like listening to BBC news) I feel your pain. Nothing can be worst when people cannot stick to timing and have nothing to compensate for wasting ones’ time. Surely, I’m sure if you had knew that you will be waiting for that long, you'll probably have taken your time leaving work and looked for the nearest Chinese takeaway. Nevertheless, it sounds that you had a blast. I have to be honest and confess that I did applied to be Nja next top model however; the producers said that I was a week late, and basically to try next year. I thought o well...Next time it is then. The only critique that I have to the girl that gave the detailed account of the event (and I am sorry that I am referring to you in such manner) is the whole nationality BS. First and foremost I am a Nigerian however, British born. I do not and will never consider myself as a British in fact the nearest I come to being British is the accent I have and the fish and chips that I often eat. I was quite disappointed in your statement that you expected all the girls to be 'fresh of the boat' after all it is the Nja Next Top Model. Frankly, for when the parents are born in Nja and they are answering names like Adeola or Bola or even my name Odiriverere you are a Nigerian. You could be born on the moon or on Mars it doesn't matter for when one can trace the roots to Nja that’s where you belong that’s who you are. Also, why was this not conducted in Nigeria? It would have made more sense. However, lack of funding and top fashion designers that are well knowb could have been a factor. But what I am sure of is that the organisers have learnt their mistake and will correct it for the next one were hopefully I will be there representing all the Urhobo (Delta State).